Posted in Family, Lifestyle, Morning Musings

Step-Mom

In my previous post, I talked about a shirt that my oldest daughter wore and my issues with said shirt. I also mentioned that I didn’t buy her that shirt. Why?  Because her mother brought it for her.

See my eldest daughter, Kayla, is not my biological daughter.  She is my husbands’ daughter.  I have known this little girl since she was one and I consider our bond to be a special one.  And I have only on rare occasion ever referred to her as my step-daughter to other people.

So the other day when she snuggled up to me and called me her, “step-mom” I was a bit offended. I guess by now you all are saying what’s the big deal? You guys are a blended family that’s normal.

However, I did not willingly walk into step-motherhood. My husband and I just recently celebrated our 11th anniversary. Our eldest child is 7, followed by Kayla who is 4, my youngest son who is also 4, and my youngest daughter who just turned 1. I could spell it out for you, but I’ll let you put two and two together.

When I decided that I wanted Kayla to be a part of my life. I made a decision that she and her siblings would never refer to each other as step/half siblings. They are brothers and sisters. Period. This was something that I also made her mother aware of at the time.

I knew that she would never be allowed to call me Mom. So I came up with a nickname for myself hence I became MoMo to her. Even though sometimes she does slip up an call me mom, I just gently redirect her.

And that’s what I did the day she referred to me as her step-mom. I just gently reminded her that I was her MoMo and nothing else. I know for her mom it makes it easier to describe who I am without having to explain anything to people.

I am sure it’s all well-intentioned, but I don’t want to be Kayla’s stepmom. I just want to be her MoMo. Stepmom just seems like a bad word to me on top of being something that I never wanted to be. It kind of makes me feel slighted, even though I know that’s not the intent.

I feel the same way when people infer that we’re a blended family. But that is a story for another day.

It’s just a way to designate me as the woman that is not her mom, but the woman that takes care of her when she is with us. I don’t know? Maybe some of you are step-parents and get where I’m coming from or maybe you’re just like girl get over it. (lol)

It is just a name after all. But if you can or can’t relate please leave a comment or share your own story. I’d love to hear from other step parents.

Until Next Time,

The Crafty Afro

Posted in Family, Morning Musings

What’s Wrong With Being a Princess?

civalias-kune-332519-unsplash

Photo by Civalias Kune on Unsplash

Is it just me or does the world have something against princesses? My eldest daughter wore a shirt the other day that said” Future Princess Hero”.  At first, the shirt didn’t bother me, but as I kept looking at it I started to get irritated.

Why in the world was the princess marked out? I know not all girls dream of being fairytale princesses in fancy dresses and being swept away by their Prince Charming.

I was one of those girls. Pink?..No thank you…Frilly dresses?…No thank you…Makeup? No way! (Sorry, girls grandma or youtube is going to have to teach you how to put on makeup.)

Being swept away by Prince Charming…Possibly.

I get the whole feminist thing about Princesses being pictured as damsels in distress, unable to do anything to escape their captors. Yes, women are not helpless….blah..blah…I get it.

There is actually a feminist ranking of Disney princesses. Seriously?! I could go on about this, but I won’t. At least not today.

But is there something so wrong with being a princess?

Princesses can be smart, brave, loyal, fierce, hardworking, educated and talented. They can also be feminine, sweet, charming, and shy.

One of the articles bashes Snow White because all she did was sing and clean. She sounds like a stay at home mom to me. Taking care of 7 dwarves and their mess.  And how was she supposed to save her self when she was in a coma?

Wonder Woman is a princess and a warrior. She can hold her own with Superman and all of the other macho male superheroes. But she also knows how to be soft and vulnerable with those close to her.

So why did they choose to scratch out the word Princess to replace it with the word hero?  Society puts some much pressure on young girls as it is. Why can’t they be a Princess and a hero?

Maybe, I was just in my feelings that day. Still I think that shirt might disappear. I didn’t buy it anyway.

Until Next Time,

The Crafty Afro